How To Give Difficult Feedback

Deconstructive + Reconstructive = Feedback

Let me ask you something.... Reader, how good does it feel being like....

They asked you for advice and you..

Gave them your time and energy....

Knew it would help them...

And they still didn't do it. How annoying is that?

But you want to know what sucks?

Yes, I said it. It doesn't matter if you're right--- if people don't do what you say.

Part of life is to be able to give difficult feedback and to be able to apply it.

Because, you help no one (including yourself) if, you can't give feedback or people don't take your feedback.

So, let's talk about giving difficult feedback.

What is Feedback?

Susan Gonzalez @susanpgonz Let's talk about giving difficult feedback. It needs to be: 1) Deconstructive: Identifies what's broken. 2) Reconstructive: Suggests how to make it better. Feedback= Deconstructive + Reconstructive 8:43 AM • Jul 5, 2023 7 Retweets 42 Likes Read 10 replies

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Feedback= Deconstructive + Reconstructive

1) Deconstructive: Identifies what's broken.

2) Reconstructive: Suggests how to make it better.

Goal= Awareness + Action

What is Deconstructive Feedback?

Points out what isn't working. It's essential if you want to improve. You won't know what's wrong if no one points it out.

You need to identify what's not working.

This could be:

• Personal
• Professional
• Both

First, it has to be deconstructive:

It should be specific and clear. State exactly what the problem is today.

Not: " You're not doing a good job."

More: "In this [specific] situation, this [action/behavior] is what needs to be addressed.

What is Reconstructive Feedback?

Next, it needs to be reconstructive. Reconstructive feedback is where people suggest what to do next. It’s what most people think is “constructive feedback.”

It should be:

• Sincere
• Specific
• Actionable

Deconstructive feedback alerts you to the problem.

Reconstructive feedback provides you with the solution.

The Goal With Feedback

One thing to keep in mind is that feedback is data. It's not good or bad, and its never personal. It's information that provides an action step.

Difficult feedback is an action or behavior that needs to be corrected- never the person.

And for it to take-- the person needs to be made aware that the specific problem exists and how to resolve it.

Feedback= Deconstructive + Reconstructive.

How to Give Difficult Feedback

1. Identify the problem and be specific.= Deconstructive
2. Identify the ideal solution and what that looks like= Reconstructive
3. Remove any words that are personal and not related to the action or behavior you want changed.
4. Not: "You're a bad person because you gossip." (Personal)
5. More: "[Gossiping] is hurtful to the company and team."
6. Use the formula: [Specific action] is [causing this result] which is why [I wanted to speak to you] and [bring it to your attention].